Safety & consent

Wanting To is a communication tool, not a substitute for an actual conversation. Please read this before connecting with a partner.

Selecting is not consenting

Marking something "green" tells your partner you'd be open to it in principle. It is not consent to do it. Consent is only ever given in the moment, in person, by both/all people involved — and it can be withdrawn at any time, for any reason, without needing to explain why.

Use a safe word

Agree on a clear word or signal in advance that means "stop, right now" — and honor it immediately, every time, no exceptions or negotiation in the moment.

Check in during and after

Especially the first time you try something new together, check in verbally. Afterward, take a few minutes for aftercare — even a simple "how are you feeling?" goes a long way.

You're always allowed to say no

To anything, at any time — including things you've marked "green" in the past. Past interest is never a commitment or an obligation.

Privacy & your data

Your selections are private by default; only overlaps with a connected partner are shown, unless you choose to share your full list. You can disconnect from a partner at any time, which stops all further sharing between you.

If something feels wrong

If a partner pressures you, ignores a safe word, or makes you feel unsafe, stop and remove them as a connection. If you are in immediate danger, contact local emergency services. In the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.

Know the law where you are

Laws about consent, age of majority, and specific activities vary by location. You are responsible for knowing and following the laws that apply to you.